1. You’re Scared to Speak
Abuse comes in many forms, and mental abuse can take the biggest toll on your confidence.
If you’re scared to speak up, a marriage counselor can help you navigate communication barriers. Often, people are scared to speak because they want to avoid confrontation or hurting the other person’s feelings. Although you don’t want to say things you’ll regret, you should feel comfortable speaking your mind and being honest.
Many couples also split ways because one person is scared to speak, in fear that the other person will become jealous. No matter the reason, you should see this fear as a relationship red flag.
2. Communication Has Ended
If you are no longer talking to the person you used to spend hours on the phone with, you may need to access your relationship.
Communication issues don’t necessarily always lead to divorce, but if you don’t address them, it will be a bumpy road ahead. When you and your partner are in a good mood, take time to discuss communication needs and if each person is feeling heard.
When barriers are put up, it’s often because someone feels unheard or misunderstood. It may also be difficult to talk if conversations always result in an argument. Try to keep a level head while talking and get help with marriage communication from a therapist.
To reignite your spark, write little notes and find ways to get back on the same page.
3. There Are Safety Concerns
One of the biggest reasons to seek marriage help, or even walk away, is if you have safety concerns.
No matter what is said or done, if you don’t feel safe, the behavior needs to be addressed.
If you suffer from mental or physical abuse, make sure you connect with a medical professional or officer. You don’t have to suffer through abuse, and if there are children in the house, they could be at risk.
Talking to a professional marriage helper can help you both work out frustrations and determine the best steps forward.
4. Secrets Are Growing
Everyone has hidden secrets, but if you’re loved one is withdrawing and coming up with false narratives, you may need help.
Marriage intimacy will quickly crumble if trust is broken. Catching your wife or husband in a lie can feel like a stab in the back, especially when you already know the truth. You must confront lies quickly, however, don’t bait them in to see if they will continue to lie.
Have an open and honest conversation. State what you know or the strange behaviors and excuses you’re tired of. If you can’t work past the lying, you may need to consider ending the relationship.
5. An Affair Is Occurring
Emotional and physical affairs can be challenging to forgive when you’ve put your trust in someone.
If you or your partner is having an affair, take this as a serious sign to make some changes. You need to set clear boundaries and do your best to discuss the issue with your partner. Many people make the mistake of trying to ignore the problem, but this often leads to more pain.
Affairs typically stem from desires and an inability to control oneself. Even if you feel like a victim, it’s not an excuse to cheat. Before you start dating again, make sure your partner is on the same page.
6. Stress Increases Around Them
A rise in blood pressure can spark a chain of reactions and negatively impact your marriage.
Even if you aren’t aware, your body is always sending signals from your brain to your nerves. If you notice an increase in stress when your significant other comes around, your body might be trying to tell you something. It’s best to talk to a therapist and work out issues, especially if you’re dealing with mental abuse.
A good way to determine if you get stressed or have natural reactions is by being around others. Family and friends can quickly identify when you’re anxious and help you be more aware of how your relationship is impacting your health.
7. You’re Waiting for Them to Change
While it’s true that people evolve and change over time, you should never be encouraging someone to be something else.
Pushing a certain lifestyle or belief system on your partner isn’t going to be what convinces them. You can’t change people, they have to learn and adapt to their timeline. Wishing your partner will become someone else will lead to resentment and disappointment.
