HARD LESSONS THAT MAKE LIFE EASY
The most common reason for our collective suffering on an average day is our resistance to the truth.
1. Everyone and everything in life is limited.
You can never read all the books you want to read. You can never train yourself in all the skill sets you want to have. You can never be all the things you want to be and live all the lives you want to live. You can never spend all the time you want with the people you love. You can never feel every possible temperature, tone, and variation of emotion in a given situation. You are incredibly limited, just like everyone else.
In the game of life, we all receive a unique set of unexpected limitations and variables in the field of play. The question is: How will you respond to the hand you’ve been dealt? You can either focus on the lack thereof or empower yourself to play the game sensibly and resourcefully, making the very best of every outcome as it arises, even when it’s heartbreaking and hard to accept.
In the end, what matters most is to focus on what matters most. By doing so you get to truly experience the various sources of beauty and opportunity in your life while each of them lasts.
2. No matter how hard you work, you can’t have everything you want.
Eventually, most of us end up settling in some part of our life. We let go of certain ideals and dreams, we compromise, and we make trade-offs. We gradually learn that we can’t have everything we want, because not every outcome in life can be perfectly controlled. But if we pay close attention, we also learn that we can make the best of every outcome, and still get a lot of what we want in life, if we manage our time, energy and attitude appropriately.
And these realizations collectively lead to an interesting question:
When should you settle, or compromise, and when should you continue fighting hard for what you ideally want to achieve?
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, but when you encounter a situation that forces you to choose between compromise and fighting forward against the opposition, it might help to also ask yourself:
“Do I really need this, or do I just kinda want it?”
Being able to distinguish needs from wants is essential in every walk of life. Never let go of an outcome you truly need in your life, but be reasonably flexible on the outcomes you want but could live fine without.In other words, choose your battles wisely, and don’t let ‘perfect’ become the enemy of ‘great.’ Remind yourself that what you pay attention to grows. So focus on what really matters and let go of what does not.
3. If you truly want something in life, you also have to want the costs of getting it.
Most people want the reward without the risk. The shine without the grind. But you can’t have a destination without a journey. And a journey always has costs – at the very least, you have to invest your time and energy into it every step of the way.
So, instead of thinking about what you want, first ask yourself:
“What am I willing to give up to get it?”
Or, for those inevitably hard days:
“What is worth suffering for?”
Seriously, think about it…
4. Owning your truth can be hard, but not nearly as hard as spending your life running away from it.
Remember, no matter what age, race or sex you are, underneath all your external decorations you are a pure, beautiful being. You have light to shine, and missions to accomplish. Celebrate being different, off the beaten path, a little on the weird side, your own special creation. If you find yourself feeling like a fish out of water, by all means find a new stream to swim in. But don’t deny yourself — embrace yourself!
Be YOU in a world that’s trying to influence every move you make.
Take the road less traveled when it feels right under your feet.
Do more than just exist.
We all exist. The question is: Do you live?Own your truth. Learn from it.
5. Not everyone you trust will be trustworthy (and you’re better off without some relationships).
Trust is essential to building and maintaining deep and meaningful connections — it’s the foundation for all healthy relationships. Rebuilding trust after betrayal though is rarely easy, and sometimes not even appropriate with the person who betrayed you. But regardless of the details and what you ultimately decide to do with that particular relationship, the most important decision is who YOU decide to be after a betrayal.
Do your best to be resourceful. Remind yourself that distancing yourself from someone who keeps giving you negative vibes or unhealthy energy is self-care. Stepping back from situations where you feel unappreciated or disrespected is self-care. Choose to honor your feelings and boundaries, respectfully.Relationships should help you, not hurt you.
