Falling in love is something that a lot of people vie for. Some people think about falling in love and having a long-term partnership from the time that they’re kids. With all of the information about love and the media depiction of love, it’s difficult for some to determine what real love is and what a healthy relationship looks like. Love is a special connection that runs deep. If it’s love, you’ll likely have an internal, intuitive, and intrinsic feeling that it’s love you’re experiencing. You’ll feel it both in your mind and your heart. It’s not often topsy turvy like it is in the movies. Instead, it’s secure and warm. You should feel safe with your partner when you’re in love. That said, “we’re in love” doesn’t always mean that things are perfect. There are times when seeing a mental health professional such as a licensed marriage and family therapist will be beneficial, which is where therapy or counseling comes in. With love, it’s more than common to have ups and downs; every relationship does. There’s no shame in reaching out for help when you need it, and in fact, it might save your relationship.
We all know the bad about love, but love has often been portrayed in a good light as well. It’s commonly associated with youth, as most people first typically have their first love at a young age. The blooming stages of love can be a thing of beauty, as one person tries to court the other and overcome some hardships along the way.
In other cases, love is portrayed as tragic. Think about how many stories have ended in tragedy because of love or the loss of love. Think about how many people you know have been burned by love. Not to mention all the songs that have been written about the highs and lows of love. However, love is inherently free and pure. Devastating love that leads to toxic behavior is not actual love. In youth, these feelings can be even more intense.
This makes the definition of love even more complex. It can be the best and worst thing ever. This is also because the line between romantic love and hate is quite thin. These strong emotions are in the same part of your brain and can switch rather quickly. Regardless of gender, sexuality, or race, love is love and persists in every part of the world.
Even when things get difficult, remember that love and affection are very natural parts of life, and you should never feel guilty or weak for the love you feel. Love is a real gift, and even when it is complicated and painful, it serves to teach us some of the most important life lessons. Love brings new perspectives and experiences to our lives that we would not have otherwise known.
Sometimes when we are in an unhealthy relationship, the problem is that we are more invested in the feeling of love instead of loving that person. Maybe we do not want to be alone, or maybe we have been inundated with an idealistic view of love. However, you need to be careful about the people who you put on a pedestal because you may end up falling in love with an idea rather than a real person. For example, you might find yourself being in love with people who give you that ‘fix’ of love and affection only once. But the good news if you want love is that you can find it with many people throughout your life and in many different forms. A life filled with love is a life well lived! So do not waste your time with someone when you only give love or when you only love an idealized fantasy of that person and not the real thing. Spend your time with people who really love you, treat you well, and add value to your life, even on the most mundane day.
Also, remember the difference between love and lust. You can feel lust for someone you do not even know personally, which can be dangerous because you feel strongly about them before you know if they are a kind and moral person or someone who will use you or abandon you. Another important reason to not confuse love and lust is that while you might feel lust, the other person could be looking for something more. Always be very clear about what you are looking for upfront. There is nothing wrong or embarrassing about feeling love and lust, or just one and not the other, but there could be something wrong with leading someone to believe that you are on the same page when you are not and hurting them in the process. If someone says, “we’re in love,” but you don’t feel that way, it’s time to vocalize what you are and aren’t looking for right now in terms of a relationship so that you don’t lead them on.
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