1. “If you feel that way, maybe we should get a divorce.”
Marriage is made up of two individuals who each bring their own values, ideas, and ways of doing things. Many conflicts involving these differences will never be resolved.
Compromise or agreeing to disagree may be the only resolution you can reach on some of these issues. Rather than feeling that these differences and the conflicts they cause make you incompatible, try to understand where your spouse is coming from and why they feel the way they do.
You might try saying something like this: “I’m feeling hurt, angry, or abandoned and I am struggling with wanting to be near you. I love you but I need some space. I’ll come to find you when I cool down.”
2. “I hate you.”
Otherwise known as: “I don’t love you anymore.”
3. “That’s stupid.”
Otherwise known as: “You’re being irrational.”
4. “Of course a man/woman would think that!”
Otherwise known as: “Stick to woman’s business,” or, “This is a man’s job”
5.“Just relax!”
Otherwise known as: “Stop thinking about it.”
While these 8 toxic phrases can cause a lot of harm to a relationship, there is good news if you’ve already used these. Studies show that healthy couples tend to have 5 positive interactions for every negative interaction.
The antidote to using these phrases is to be intentional about creating positive, uplifting moments between you and your spouse. A sincere apology, a warm hug, affirming words, and doing something fun together can go a long way to restoring intimacy.
