HOW TO GET OVER SELF DOUBTS IN A RELATIONSHIP??
It’s important to understand that doubting your self-worth and feeling anxious about relationships are normal feelings — and they are also not your fault. But they can be hard.
- Shake the idea of “deserving” love.
Thanks to the pressure of Hollywood, a lot of us tend to have the idea that love is something we “deserve” or have to “earn.” So when you express your self-doubt, you may hear advice like “you deserve love” or “everyone deserves love.”
Of course, anyone who says that you deserve to find love has your best interest at heart. However, the best path to pushing through your self-doubt is to shake the whole idea that anyone can be deserving or worthy of love.
Love and companionship are like food and water — a normal part of the human experience. And, just like food and water, love is something that we have to find and grow for ourselves. Unfortunately, the idea of deserving or not deserving love can lead us to doubt our self-worth or to ask questions like, “If I deserve it, why doesn’t anybody love me?” The fact is, relationships take cultivation and care, and love doesn’t just appear to the people who deserve it. Shaking off that old stereotype can help you to regain your confidence and overcome your anxiety, so you can get out there and experience love for yourself.
- Remember, there is no timeline.
There is no such thing as being “late for love.”
If you feel pressure to meet people or find someone “before it’s too late,” try to remember that there is no timeline you need to stick to. In fact, the pressure to start a relationship within a certain timeline can be harmful — it can lead people to commit to relationships they are not ready for or stay in a relationship they are unhappy with.
The reality is, people, find love at all different times in their life. Remember, love is just like food and water. We all need it, and it occurs wherever it has the space to grow. And it can be hard for love to grow under pressure. So try not to rush it! There is no such thing as too late.
- Don’t worry about the spark.
Don’t you love it when you meet people you feel like you can click with right away? It’s a great feeling — but it’s not necessarily a sign that you should be in a relationship with that person.
Many people who struggle to meet new people feel like they are waiting for a “spark” or a special connection with a potential partner. Unfortunately, love doesn’t always work that way. Remember that romance and love stories can heavily influence the way we look at love and relationships. Love, at first sight, is a common misconception; a meaningful relationship isn’t about the first meeting but the experiences and trust you build with that person over time.
So, don’t worry too much about trying to meet people you have an instant connection with. You don’t have to play the numbers game until you find that click. Just because you have trouble finding the “spark” does not mean you can’t find love.
- Enjoy the little things.
You might have heard that love dies or dulls over time or that long-term relationships become less exciting. Those old sayings can cause a lot of anxiety in your relationship. You might wonder: will you inevitably fall out of love with your partner?
The truth is, no relationship is 100% perfect 100% of the time. Your feelings toward your partner will change over time, just like in a long friendship. But that is not necessarily a bad thing, and it does not mean that you will eventually fall out of love.
The key is to welcome and enjoy every little aspect of a relationship. The rush of falling in love is great, but all those endorphins can’t last forever. So, remember that love can look boring, imperfect, and even messy sometimes. But, as long as you feel happy, healthy, and supported by your partner, you don’t need to worry about the pressure of feeling 100% in love 100% of the time.
- Love yourself first.
Finally, and most importantly, overcoming self-doubt in relationships means overcoming your own personal challenges.
Self-love is a different kind of love, but it is just as important (if not more so) than romance. Like a relationship, it takes patience and growth. Professional therapy is an amazing tool to help you tackle your doubts and gain confidence. Pursuing your passions, staying healthy, and spending time with the things and people you care most about can also help.
Is it possible to find love with yourself? Absolutely! Remember, there is no pressure to find someone to love, and a relationship is not a “cure” for self-doubt. Take care of your mental and physical health first, and the rest will follow.
To overcome your self-doubt, it’s important to look inward and address other challenges in your life as well. Mental health issues like anxiety and depression are not cured by a relationship and should be treated seriously. If you find yourself asking, “will anybody ever love me?” often, it might help to take a step back, examine other stresses in your life, and ask yourself why you feel that way. Consider asking, “do I love me?” Caring for yourself first is the best path to a healthy and loving relationship in the future.
