LOVE MAKING OR SEX??
when we talk about two people making love as opposed to having sex, is there any real difference?
When people say ‘making love,’ they tend to mean emotionally connected sex, or sex with someone with whom they are in love.It’s linked to spiritual seekers, hippies, Tantra practitioners, or anyone else who seeks transcendence through sex.
The term likely arose in relation to the idea of traditional courtship, Battle notes, but it has since evolved from its original meaning to have the meaning it has now. Today, the term “making love” is more commonly used among more religious, spiritual, or traditional communities, or it can be a way of talking about sex without saying the word “sex,” which some people find to be too crass.
Meanwhile, others have consciously moved away from using the term “making love” because of the way it can create a moral hierarchy around sexuality, implying that sex is most valuable when romantic love is involved—which is not the case for everybody.
There is also a growing understanding that all different kinds of sex can connect two people emotionally.
Some people believe there is a qualitative difference between making love and having sex, where lovemaking is more deep, even spiritual. By contrast, having sex is more utilitarian or less emotionally connected.
The difference between making love and having sex is subjective, as they can look and feel exactly the same and involve exactly the same sexual acts, behaviors, and connection. The biggest difference is in the intention behind the sex: Making love is about using sex to express feelings of romantic love.
Signs someone is making love to you:===
- The sex is initiated after an emotionally connective experience or conversation.
- There is intense eye contact throughout the sex.
- There is a lot of kissing before, during, and after sex.
- They hold you close during and after sex.
- They’re gentle and affectionate with how they touch you.
- There’s a lot of touch beyond just genitals—they put their hand on your cheek, they intertwine their fingers with yours, they kiss your shoulders and thighs, etc.
- There’s no rush; instead, they take their time with each act, making sure each one is special.
- They take their time making you feel good.
- They’re less concerned with receiving from you; they’re more focused on giving pleasure or in mutual pleasure.
- The sex is more “romantic” and “emotional” than “sexy” or “dirty.”
- They’re saying romantic things during sex.
- They say they love you during sex.
- They cuddle with you afterward rather than withdrawing or falling asleep.
Importantly, any and all of these things can be present during sex between non-romantic partners, too. Many people emotionally connect with their sexual partners and enjoy being affectionate with their sexual partners, even if they’re not in love. Even casual sex can be very passionate, romantic, and filled with mutual care. The only real way to know if someone is using sex as an expression of love is if they tell you that’s how they feel about it.
