The only real way to know if someone is using sex as an expression of love is if they tell you that's how they feel about it.

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1. Connect with your partner prior to sex.

Making love starts way before you get to the bedroom. There needs to be an emotional connection already building between you that you can then lean into during sex. Part of this is about knowing exactly how you feel about this person—when you’re confident about your feelings for someone, it’s a lot easier to express those feelings through intimacy.

2. Learn about their intimate needs.

Spending time prior to sex connecting with your partner, learning more about them and their wants and needs, can allow for more deeply connected sex. Talking about sex when you’re not having it can actually increase the quality of the sex you have tremendously! Ask them exactly what makes them feel loved and connected in bed, and then do those things when you get there.

3. Learn what they find romantic.

Romance is relative, so communicating what you like is also important. What does romance mean to your partner—and to you? Is it about a lot of kissing and cuddling? Is it about whispering sweet nothings to each other during the act? Is it about a sensual, romantic environment with candles and roses? Talk about it together, and then make it happen!

4. Take your time in bed.

Slow down! When it comes to making love, there’s no rush and no finish lines you need to rush toward. Spend more time savoring each moment. Draw out each touch so it lasts even longer and feels even deeper.

5. Touch different parts of your partner’s body.

Genitals aren’t everything! Getting away from exclusive focus on the “sexy bits” can particularly make sex better for women. Explore different erogenous zones on her body including neck, shoulders, scalp, ears, belly, inner thighs, inner arms, back, buttocks, and feet. Try experimenting with speed or pressure.

6. Try eye gazing.

Eye gazing is a tantric sex practice where you and your partner sit up straight on your bed or couch and just gaze into each other’s eyes for a full several minutes without talking.

In the powerful gaze of your partner, there is nowhere to hide, and you practice fully revealing yourself to the other with all that you feel and all that you are. You see them fully while at the same time letting yourself be see. Let the love that is in your heart shine out through your eyes. Gazing at your beloved, see the divine spark in their eyes, marveling at the pure life force that is animating them. Feel the sacredness of this simple moment together.

1 Comment
  1. Rohini Desai says

    Speechless… great sharing

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